It’s quite a daunting thing sending your barely 4-year-old daughters to school. On the whole, it’s been pretty much plain sailing with getting them settled into school. However, after the Easter holidays Phoebe had a wobble and kept crying as I left her to go into school. Despite being quite confident, it goes to show that they still can feel anxious. At 4, it’s not always easy to share how you are feeling, let alone be able to understand why you may feel like this way. The primary purpose of the book is to encourage children to feel relaxed and comfortable enough to open up about any anxieties or issues they may have in a very natural way, without their parent or carer having to use probing or leading questions.
The book was written by Mark Hatter, a social worker and child protection expert with over 30 years of experience of working with children. Although the book was originally aimed at children who may have been abused, the book also works incredibly well across the board for children who may be feeling anxious or upset about something in their day-to-day lives, or feeling unsafe and struggling to communicate this to their parent or carer. The book also works extremely well with children who may have learning difficulties or with children who may have specific communication difficulties. It has lovely bright engaging pictures with bold easy to read text that flows well.
As well as being sent the book the girls were also sent some activity packs, which help support the book. These bright colourful packs takes a child on a journey with many different woodland characters. There are places at the end of each page for the adult and child to talk and to start a natural conversation, which hopefully well enable them to open up a little more. They are bright, engaging and lots of fun. There are stickers, colouring in and drawing activities which all feature the characters they read about in the book, so they marry up really well together.
Through talking through the book and working together on the activity packs, after a while I was able to identify a few issues we have been having recently at bedtime as Phoebe has started worrying about “monsters” at bedtime. This was making her reluctant to be in the dark, despite her sister being next to her. She was able to write about the monsters on Willow’s family tree and hopefully ease her worries about it by getting it out and expressing her worries.
The book is aimed at 3-8 year olds and my girls at nearly 5 really enjoyed it and all the characters. The activity packs really support the story well and is a great way to try to get children talking. You can find out more information about The Tales of Bushey Lane here where you can also purchase your very own copy.
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Tales of Bushy Lane and it’s activity packs were created by Mark Hatter Associates, in order to act as a way to communicate effectively with younger children, mainly aged 3 – 8 years. The Tales of Bushy Lane book and activity pack are a great way to start conversations about what life is like for children.
It also meets the EYFS learning goal; People and communities: ‘children talk about past and present events in their own lives and in the lives of family members. They know that other children don’t always enjoy the same things, and are sensitive to this. They know about similarities and differences between themselves and others, and among families, communities and traditions’.
Although the Tales of Bushy Lane was not designed to be used in a home/family setting like ours, it is a really wonderful way to gain an insight in to the way that your child sees the world. And my daughter and I have had a wonderful time reading the book and doing the activity packs together.
I love the style of the book, the illustrations are wonderful, bright and friendly. My daughter loves looking at the pictures and the cards that came with some of the activity packs. The repetition on the double pages really helps to keep the focus on what is happening in the story.
The Tales of Bushy Lane follows the Willow the owl on her adventures through daily life. I love that Tale of Bushy Lane gave us a chance to talk about my daughter’s day. I have to say, that when I pick her up from nursery most days she tells me that she has done nothing or that she can’t remember! And as my daughter is going to be starting school later this year, and that means some big changes and also a lot more time away from me so I think that Tales of Bushy Lane is going to be a great help over the coming months.
My daughter is 4 years old and she had a great time engaging with both the book and the activities. The age range for the book and activity packs is 3 to 8 years. Each of the activity packs comes with stickers, there were a big hit and we used them on the large, activity sheets. I think my favourite activity was the ‘me tree’ and my daughter loved the activities on the routine activity sheet.
I love that both the book and the activity packs encourage such wonderful conversations. My daughter and I had a lovely morning chatting about our daily routine, and the things she loves to do. I love that we got to give scores to different activities. One to three smiley faces, I was surprised about some of the scores. But I have to add that reading books got 10 smiley faces and ice skating with her daddy got 20 smiley faces and these scores didn’t surprise me at all.
I think that Tale of Bushy Lane is a wonderful book for children and can give the adults in their lives a wonderful insight in to how they are feeling and what the like to do. Although it is was designed for adults who are working with children and to be used to interview the birth children of prospective foster carers, I think that Tales of Bushy Lane works incredible well in the family/home setting too.
]]>Many books have taken on the role of helpful aides and this is definitely the case with the book ‘Tales of Bushey Lane’. It is the first children’s book to be especially written and illustrated to assist people who are working with children and their families. It enables them to effectively communicate with the children in order to gain a full understanding of their life experiences.
The book can also come with special Activity Packs which can be completed during sessions with the child. These are used to expand on the themes within the book and help to encourage them to talk about what is happening in their life. The book together with the packs has proven to be a great assessment aide during initial child and family assessments. It is also recommended for use during Special Guardianship assessments and has been used to interview the birth children of prospective foster carers.
In respect of education purposes and early years, it can enable teaching professionals to realise the child’s understanding of their identity which will in turn give them information for their learning journal. It also meets the EYFS learning goal: People and communities: ‘children talk about past and present events in their own lives and in the lives of family members. They know that other children don’t always enjoy the same things, and are sensitive to this. They know about similarities and differences between themselves and others, and among families, communities and traditions’.
The book, as well as all the packs, are geared towards children within the 3 to 8 year age range. However, they are equally as effective for older children who may have learning difficulties. On top of this, it is also a handy tool when used, alongside an interpreter, with children whose English is not their first language.
Having looked through and read the book, I have to say that I find the story so well told. It broaches grown up subjects from a child’s perspective and told in a way that they will understand. I shall definitely be reading it to Rex – and I will ensure that Grace reads it to him too. I believe that this will benefit both of them. The illustrations are colourful and eye-catching and will certainly attract the attention of youngsters who learn visually.
]]>Mark is a qualified Social Worker and for the past 30 years or so has been working with child protection matters both in the capacity of Senior Social Work, Child Protection Coordinator and Team Manager. Mark now runs his own team of Independent Social Workers and is an associate lecturer within the Department of Social Work and Integrated Care at Buckinghamshire New University.
This makes Mark very qualified in the understanding of children and how they think and behave. Because of this passion to help improve the outcomes for children, and giving them a voice they may not otherwise be able to find, The Tales of Bushey Lane was born.
The book is written and illustrated for children between three and eight years old, but can also be used with children who have learning difficulties and through the assistance of an interpreter, for children who may not have English as their first language.
As an added bonus with this book there are 2 age group activity packs for the children to work through, and again, prompt discussion or just allow the children to open up without parents or carers having to use probing or leading questions.
Our courses are facilitated by Robin Watts who was a Metropolitan Police career detective working in a range of departments but mainly as a murder detective. During the last 10 years of his career he worked in the Child Abuse arena, spending 5 years as a child abuse investigator in the London Borough of Lambeth. Since retiring in 2008 Robin has worked as an Independent trainer and consultant for numerous organisations. He trains police officers and social workers in the Child Abuse field, specialising in the interviewing of children and in the assessment and investigative approach. He has run numerous ABE courses throughout the country and has worked as a safeguarding consultant, delivering training to numerous schools in the UK and across the world. To date, he has been to over 280 International Schools to deliver training and to assist in the development and improvement of Child Protection Procedures, Policies, and Practices.
To book a place visit www.markhatterassociates.org. If you make a booking and refer a colleague who then books a course you will receive a 10% discount.
]]>Similarly, Dr Barbara Mariposa refers to this report in her blog, “Stress, anxiety and depression are predicted to be the second biggest causes of ill health in Western countries by 2020.”
Overwhelming stress, anxiety and the effects of depression are taking their toll on people from all walks of life. All of us can “burn out” regardless of social or economic status but there is no doubt that financial concerns can place enormous additional strain on those already struggling to juggle the day-to-day pressures of everyday modern life.
High achievers are not immune from professional burnout either. The founder of The Huffington Post, Arianna Huffington changed her lifestyle after a rude awakening. She suffered from burnout and exhaustion, “When I collapsed in April 2007, I was by our society’s definition very successful, but by any sane definition of success, I was not ... As long as our culture defines success as money and power, we’re stuck on a treadmill of stress, sleep deprivation, and burnout.”
Stress, anxiety and mild depression (also substance misuse) have in the past been very problematic for me. As a matter of fact, in summer 2004 I burnt out while DJing, which left me no choice but to seek help and change my lifestyle completely. It was a huge wake up call — I had hit a dark rock bottom. While I have improved dramatically in the last twelve years, I am certainly not immune to stress and anxiety and I can still succumb to feelings of despondency from time to time. Nonetheless, I have found several invaluable tools which help me to take care of myself and reduce the risk of burnout re-occurring. Practising mindfulness in all areas of my life has been the most wonderful investment I have ever made into my mental, physical, spiritual and emotional well-being.
Below are eight gentle suggestions which I put together in an eight-week course format, inspired by my book, “Mindfulness Burnout Prevention: An 8-Week Course for Professionals”. They are well worth exploring:
— Focusing on the present moment brings clarity with regard to our thought-life, emotional state, behaviour and immediate environment. Such clarity will reveal when we are neglecting our wellbeing. The more we practise present-moment awareness, the easier it is to see how futile it is to be attached to an outcome. We can begin to flow and demonstrate equanimity during life’s vicissitudes. There are many different ways to practise present-moment awareness, however the simplest way is to get into the habit of watching the breath. Throughout the day pause on a regular basis and observe the breath flowing through your body. This is a good start.
— When I burnt out I was in a mild state of self-delusion. I thought that “I was fine” even though my body was giving me clear signals that I was exhausted. I pretended to be “super human”, and so, I was being dishonest with myself and my fellows. Had I been able to communicate mindfully how I was truly feeling, I would have been able to slow down before it was too late. It’s worth learning how to be honest with yourself and others by communicating with clarity. Ask yourself, “How am I really feeling?” “Am I mentally and/or emotionally overwhelmed?” “How often do I feel resentful towards my current circumstances?” “Am I dissatisfied or frustrated in my job/career?” “When was the last time I ate healthily or rested my body?” “How often do I take gentleness breaks?” “Am I communicating mindfully with my colleagues and family?”
— A lack of focus, alertness and concentration show that we are not anchoring ourselves in the present moment. Naturally, this will increase the likelihood of making mistakes and being less effective. Being able to focus on the task at hand releases stress and can be very fulfilling, even if it is something relatively mundane or “unimportant”. Similarly being alert and aware of our mental commentary helps us to detach from mental noise and destructive thoughts. Note: being alert is very different from being “hyper-vigilant”. The latter is emotionally draining and usually a symptom of PTSD or unresolved childhood trauma. Being alert is a calming emotional state and goes hand-in-hand with a dedicated daily mindfulness practice.
— Mindfulness is a wonderful way to practise “being” instead of compulsively “doing”. Mindfulness is consciously being aware of our thoughts, feelings, emotions and sensations and being aware of the external world with clarity. Practising mindfulness on a daily basis will boost mental and emotional wellbeing and lessen the impact of stress, anxiety and depression. It can also enhance our spiritual wellbeing. We can be mindful of our lifestyle and the company we keep. Rather than being on auto-pilot, we can pause and respond to events rather than reacting and being thrown off course by the slightest problem.
Similarly, emotional intelligence helps us to monitor our emotions. We can feel our feelings (pain, sadness, fear, sorrow or joy), without being overwhelmed by them. We can learn to recognise that while it’s important to validate our feelings, we are not our emotions (we have feelings but we are not our feelings).
— Life is difficult. Building a successful career in a global economy is a tall order. Bringing up a family also brings many challenges. However, when we develop emotional resilience we can persist and progress in our affairs. Rather than trying to force our way through life (which is counterproductive and leads to grave resentment) it is much healthier to focus on our efforts instead of potential outcomes. The fruit is in our efforts. It’s the process that makes life fulfilling, not just a result. Remember that there are over seven billion people who also have personal desires, thus no matter how hard you try to push, resistance will be close by. The next time you find yourself trying to force your way through life, breathe and emotionally let go.
Being aware of the condition of our body is essential. If we can listen to the human body and be aware of its needs, we will reduce stress. We know that memories are stored inside the muscles of the human body (traumatic or joyful memories). The human body remembers everything. Similarly, the human body informs us through feelings, aches and sensations when it needs to be nurtured or requires time to rest. By scanning the body with various meditation techniques we can boost our emotional wellbeing and reduce stress. Ask yourself “How is my body feeling in this very moment?” “How often do I pay attention to my body?” “Do I give my body regular exercise?” “How often do I allow myself downtime?”
Learning to direct compassion inwards is probably the kindest thing that we can do for ourselves. It’s so easy to direct blame towards ourselves. When we are kind and compassionate towards ourselves, self-care becomes natural. If we nurture and take care of our mental, emotional, spiritual and physical wellbeing, we are far less likely to burn out. It was Jack Kornfield who said, “If your compassion does not include yourself, it is incomplete.” Therefore, ask yourself on a regular basis, “Am I directing compassion inwards?” “Do I put enough time aside to relax and unwind?” “Am I allowing myself to believe cruel things about myself?” “What can I do right now to be more compassionate and loving towards myself?”
Regularly reminding ourselves about things we cherish and appreciate will shield us from adopting a negative frame of mind. While we cannot be appreciative all of the time, we can pause once a day and reflect on the things we can be grateful for rather than focussing on what is “missing”. Writing in a gratitude journal can be very helpful or talking to your spouse/partner or a friend about your thankfulness will amplify your emotional health.
]]>Over the coming months we will be bringing you the latest news and events and we encourage you to help us promote more collaborative multi-agency working which has the needs of children and their families at it's core.
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